Come on down to the Austin Convention Center to bear witness when the undefeated Holy Rollers take on the Rhinestone Cowgirls. The Rhineys are all saddled up for victory, but the Rollers won’t give it up without a fight. Will the baddest bullies in the Sacred Heart Schoolyard roll their way into a perfect season, or will they sink to their knees in defeat at the hands of the hard-ridin’ Cowgirls? One thing’s for sure: if there’s gonna be an upset this season, it’ll be on Sunday.

Where: Austin Convention Center, Hall 5
When: Sunday, August 10
Time: Doors at 6, Bout at 7
Music by Chilli Cold Blood
Cost: $15 at the door, $13 presale

What do you get when you combine Juno with Charlie’s Angels? The roller-derby film Whip It! which will star Ellen Page and will be directed by Drew Barrymore. Whip It! marks Barrymore’s directorial debut and has begun filming in Michigan.

“I’ve been working toward the goal of directing my entire life.” “Whip It! is a story that really spoke to me.” - Barrymore, 32

Whip It! is a film that chronicles the adventures of Bliss Cavendar, a teenage misfit stuck in a dead-end town outside Austin, Texas. The small-town teen is a reluctant beauty-pageant contestant that decides to take up the time-honored tradition of Roller Derby by joining an all female roller derby team. Based on the book Derby Girl by novelist and screenwriter Shauna Cross, Whip It! will be produced by Barry Mendel and Barrymore’s Flower Films for Mandate Pictures.

TXRD is proud to announce that two of our very own skaters, Rocky Casbah and Sacralicious, have been selected as stunt body doubles for the film. Rocky Casbah will be assisting production in the film as the stunt body double for Ari Graynor, while Sacralicious will be serving as the stunt body double for Drew Barrymore.

Congratulations Rocky and Sacralicious !
- From your TXRD Family

You’d better strap yourselves in tight, folks, ’cause the clash of the green and pink is going down…downtown! The Hellcats and the Cherry Bombs are still stingin’ from their defeats at the hands of the Holy Rollers, and both teams have a powerful thirst: a thirst for victory. Will the Cherry Bombs give the Hellcats one last caress, or will the Blonde Brigade bring down the Bombs? Come see for yourself–this all-out brawl is not to be missed.

When: Saturday, July 27
Where: Austin Convention Center, Hall 1
Time: Doors at 6, Bout at 7
Music: Barry Whitesnake and The Lifters
Cost: $15 at the door, $13 presale

On paper, this bout seemed straightforward: the undefeated Holy Rollers were taking on the winless Putas del Fuego. But the departure of longtime crowd favorite Chola of the PDF made this bout very special. Many people in the crowd sported their own version of Chola’s trademark tear in her honor. The Holy Rollers entered wearing black veils and carrying tombstones with Chola’s face under the letters “RIP”. The Putas entered Harlem-Globetrotters-style, to the tune of “Sweet Georgia Brown.” Before action got underway, La Muerta presented Chola with a PHD (Puta Heart Degree) and an awesome metal trophy to go with it.

Then the skating commenced. The PDF started out hot with a big jam from Evil Stellator, but jams from Hispanic Panic, Sacralicious, and Cathy Lix put the Holy Rollers out front. The Rollers used this bout to gain a lot experience for their rookies–Smarty Pants jammed much less often than usual. The Putas did the same thing, using this bout to further their rebuilding year. Rookies Heine Dancer, Lynnie Bruise, and Evil Stellator all made many trips to the jamming line. At the end of the first quarter, the score was Holy Rollers 20, Putas 7.

The second quarter began with a leftover penalty on Anita Confess (spank alley), then Heine Dancer shot out in front of the pack to score a full jam. Hispanic Panic of the HR rallied back on consecutive jams and threw some more points of her own on the board. There were lots of points scored in this bout, more than has been the norm this season. Death Vallery also jammed for the PDF; Axle Rosie did likewise for the HR. There were several great penalties in the second quarter: Moko Loko and Cathy participated in one of the feistier two-lap-duels we’ve had in a while (Moko won). Titz McGee easily defeated Hispanic Panic in a Tug-o-War, and Punky Bruiser took on Heine Dancer in a pillow fight in which Smarty Pants somehow ended up with the pillow in her hands. (Heine took the crowd vote.) At the end of the half, the score was Holy Rollers 35, PDF 21.

Maya Mayhem was injured in the last jam of the first half (hope the ankle is OK, Maya!). The Putas retaliated with another full jam from Evil Stellator to start the half. Karma of the HR made a rarely-seen trip to the jam line and ended up having to skate 3 jams back-to-back. (One jam was stopped when a hard hit from Holly Peno broke the kick rail. The jam was reskated, and then reskated again after a major penalty on Axle Rosie.) Full jams from Sacralicious and Heine Dancer on the next jam then lead to a major penalty on Death Vallery. Sacralicious then added 2 more points on the re-skate. Crucial Fix performed an amazing takeout on Heine Dancer. After a couple of low-scoring jams, the score at the end of the third quarter was Holy Rollers 45, PDF 33.

The fourth quarter also began with a penalty–this time on CryBaby. In protest (?), Chola had many words for head referee Dee Toxin and ended up throwing her red rubber boots at Dee. Dee was nonplussed and refrained from ejecting Chola. The Holy Rollers continued scoring a few points here, a few points there, just enough to keep slowly growing their lead. There was another pillow fight penalty on Rebelution, who took on Crucial Fix. The crowd thoroughly belonged to the Putas, and they gave Rebelution the victory, despite the fact that she was utterly destroyed by Crucial Fix. The final score of the game was Holy Rollers 55, Putas del Fuego 40.

-Penalty fun–There were many reverse spanks during this bout.  (People sitting in Spank Alley should definitely feel the pain the next day!)  Heine Dancer easily took an arm wrestle over Cathy Lix.  Sacralicious showed us a HUGE long jump as she defeated Lynnie Bruise in Skater Skills.
-Rookie Heine Dancer had a great night for the PDF–she made her way impressively through the pack several times and scored 11 points for her team.  Evil Stellator was the high PDF scorer with 15 points.
-High scorer for the Holy Rollers was Sacralicious with 19 points.  Hispanic Panic scored 14 points and Cathy Lix scored 12.
-There were lots of hard hits in this bout–the crowd flinched A LOT while watching several of the skaters hit the track–hats off to the hard-hitting blockers from both teams!
All in all, it was a very entertaining bout showcasing some very talented rookies.  Chola will be deeply missed by all–best of luck to her!
Next bout is July 27th–Cherry Bombs vs Hellcat!  Come see which team will get the edge in their quest for the Calvello Cup!
Lady A

Come on down to the Austin Convention Center to see the clash of Heaven versus Hades as the infamous Putas del Fuego take on the undefeated Holy Rollers. These two teams are ready to battle it out on the banked track, and neither is gonna leave without a fight. Will the fiery Putas rid the Rollers of their holier-than-thou attitude or will the ruthless Holy Rollers continue their heavenly winning streak? Either way, prepare yourselves for Armageddon! Austin band Exit the Sun will get your heads bobbing before the game, New Disaster will have them banging at halftime.

When: Sunday, July 13
Time: Doors at 6, Bout at 7
Where: Austin Convention Center, Hall 1, located at Cesar Chavez and Trinity
Cost: $15 at the door, $13 presale from any of our fine ticket vendors, $10 from a skater, $15 webcast

The Cherry Bombs and the Rhinestone Cowgirls both entered this bout with something on the line–a loss for either team would send them to the lower part of the league standings and give them an undesirable playoff spot. For their intros, the Rhinestone Cowgirls came out of the stands, “Price is Right” style, and the Bombs came in as mustached, poncho wearing banditas. The bout began, and soon one thing became very clear: this was going to be the Rocky Casbah Show.

From the first jam, where Rocky scored a full jam for the Cherry Bombs, she pulled out every trick in the book. She used speed, athleticism, and trick skating to rack up points for her squad. Other jammers for the Cherry Bombs included Evilynn Carnit, Daisy Mae Damage, and Ginjure Scraps. The Cowgirls sent a mix of experience and new meat to the line: Kategory 5, Mummy Dearest, Rollergazm, Miss Canada, and Truckstop Trixie all had their turn. At the end of the first quarter, the score was Cherry Bombs 17, Rhinestone Cowgirls 5.

The second quarter began with a leftover penalty against Mummy Dearest. She took on Honey Homicide in a pillow fight. Honey tossed the pillow aside and went directly for the fight, and won the crowd and the penalty. Kategory 5, getting stronger and faster every bout she skates, turned out some fierce jams, but the Cherry Bomb defense really held the Cowgirls back. Rocky Casbah continued to slice, dice, and julienne her way around the track, and by halftime, the score was Rhinestone Cowgirls 16, Cherry Bombs 39.

After some great halftme entertainment by Reid Wilson and His So-Called Friends (major kudos for the quality of the bands this year), the third quarter began as the second quarter did, with a leftover penalty against Mummy Dearest. She drew a reverse spank, and then the bout was off and rolling again. The Rhinestone Cowgirls dug in their heels to try to hang on, resulting in several major penalties, including a couple on Peachy Mean. There were big hits from Diablo of the RC and Varuca Assault and Ginjure Scraps for the CBs. Third quarter score: Rhinestone Cowgirls 26, Cherry Bombs 50.

For the last quarter, the Cherry Bombs decided to have a little fun. Rocky started a jam skating backwards, there were several fights, and Rocky and Ginjure Scraps performed a reverse whip. Awesome! Still, the Cowgirls were fighting; more penalties, more fights, and more fun ensued. The final score: Rhinestone Cowgirls 47, Cherry Bombs 60.

TXRD will hold open tryouts at 7:00 p.m. on Friday, July 11 and 1:00 p.m. on Saturday, July 12.  We will ask you to demonstrate basic skills such as crossing over, stopping, skating backwards, and weaving.  Please bring skates, pads, and a helmet if you have them.  Email tryouts@txrd.com to sign up or to ask any questions.  See you there!

On June 28 and 29, TXRD’s All-Scar Army will compete in Los Angeles against Team Awesome (the best flat-track skaters from around the nation), the San Diego Derby Dolls, and the LA Derby Dolls All-Star team, the Ri-Ettes in the first-ever national invitational banked-track tournament!
Get your tickets NOW as LADD bouts always sell out! We are offering a limited number of tickets with a $10 discount.  Get your tickets for this historic event today!

DISCOUNT CODE IS ladd2da.

Fasten your seat belts kids, ’cause the Cherry Bombs are all hopped-up and ready to go against the Rhinestone Cowgirls. The Cowgirls are feelin’ fine after their hard-fought defeat of las Putas del Fuego, while the Cherry Bombs have taken a major hit with a loss against the Holy Rollers and the loss of jammer Kate or Dye. Will the Rhinestones ride into the sunset with a victory in their saddlebags, or will the Cherry Bombs show the Cowgirls the business end of a rockout fit? With all the upsets so far this season, who’s to say? Come see for yourself!

When: Sunday, June 22
Where: Austin Convention Center, Exhibition Hall 1, located at Trinity and Cesar Chavez
Time: Doors at 6, Bout at 7
Tickets: $15 at the door, $13 from any of our fine ticket vendors, $10 from a skater